Blame the ....
by Melvyn Millman
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BLAME THE JEWS
(A Balm for Bigots with a Blameworthy Conscience)
If you haven't got a hankie,
Blame the Jews.
If your spouse makes hanky-panky,
Blame the Jews.
If your trusted friends deceive you,
If your relatives all grieve you;
You can always chuck it if you
Blame the Jews.
When your favorite stock goes tumbling,
Blame the Jews.
When your government is bungling,
Blame the Jews.
Like a lap dog, like a football, like a jester, like a clown,
They're a cooperative minority you can always kick around.
So don't just sit there grumbling at the news,
Blame the Jews. Blame the Jews. Blame the Jews.
Though you're thrown out by your honey,
Blame the Jews.
Though you've drunk up all your money,
Blame the Jews.
Though you cheat those who befriend you,
Though the saints above condemn you,
You're a prince of virtue, when you
Blame the Jews.
'Stead of beating up your children,
Blame the Jews.
'Stead of feeling guilty, you ken
Blame the Jews.
'Stead of feeling guilty, you ken
Blame the Jews.
More convenient than the tranquilizers on your bathroom shelves,
'Cause if you forget to blame them, there are those who blame themselves.
So no matter what the odds are, you can't lose,
Blame the Jews. Blame the Jews. Blame the Jews.
(But always remember to refer to them as "Zionists".)
Mel Millman
Copyright © 2003 Melvyn Millman, Poet, Playwright, Singer, Actor, Teacher (Retired).
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